Companioning the Grieving Child: A Soulful Guide for Caregivers by Alan D. Wolfelt

Author:Alan D. Wolfelt [Wolfelt, Alan D.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Self-Help, Death; Grief; Bereavement, Family & Relationships
ISBN: 9781617221613
Google: mwkCBAAAQBAJ
Publisher: Companion Press
Published: 2012-07-01T23:40:00.532540+00:00

The companion’s helping role with fear

• Be sensitive to a child’s fears. For example, children’s questions related to an adult truly caring about them are frequently an attempt to determine if they can count on the adult not to leave or to die. Accepting children’s questions and fears means you accept each child—critical because grieving children can be extremely sensitive to the slightest hint of rejection. Also recognize that underneath expressions of fear is the emotional need for warmth, acceptance, and understanding.

• Use the “wishes and fears inventory” with the child. This is where you ask the child to tell you three wishes and three fears. Having expressed some wishes (a task most children are used to), children often go right into fears they might be concealing. This is only one of many ways you might learn from a child about fears he or she might be experiencing. Be creative; do what seems to work for you.

• Go fishing. With proper timing and pacing, you simply say to the child, “Some kids have taught me that when someone in their life dies it can be pretty scary. It there anything that’s scary to you?” Sensing your desire to understand, they will often go on to teach you about their unique fears.

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